How do you live a beautiful life with few regrets? That was the question on everyone’s mind the past few months as the library celebrated its 11th One Book, One Village (OBOV) community read, which culminated Thursday with An Evening with Mikki Brammer, an event that brought Arlington Heights together through tears, laughter and meaningful conversation.
Cellist Lilianna Zofia Wosko provided music as 230 attendees filled the library’s Hendrickson Room on October 24 to hear Brammer speak about her first novel, The Collected Regrets of Clover. Brammer was joined in conversation with Death Café facilitator Rebekka James. 55 viewers also joined in via the library’s YouTube livestream.
“I had a fear of death since I was a kid, when I was very small there was quite a bit of death in my family,” Brammer said. “As a person, I’m someone who when I’m scared of something I make myself do it until I’m not scared of it anymore. I thought, well, the biggest fear is death so maybe instead of avoiding every single thing about it, maybe I could get a little bit curious.”
Brammer’s curiosity led her to discovering not only what Death Cafés were, but she also learned about death doulas, people who provides non-medical support to those who are dying and their loved ones. This is when the seeds of Clover Brooks, the protagonist of her novel, first began to bloom.
“I learned a lot actually from Clover. Specifically, how to be with someone who’s grieving,” Brammer said. “One of the useful things I learned in the research I did was to ask people do you want to be hugged, helped or heard. It’s really about letting them take the lead.”
As the evening progressed, Brammer and James had an engrossing 45-minute conversation where they continued to discuss a range of topics including Brammer’s writing process, her outlook on life and death and even her love of letter-writing. They also discussed the COVID-19 pandemic and how it affected her work.
“I’d ride a bike around and the streets would be empty, but I’d ride past the hospitals and there’d be the morgue trucks, so it was really hard to avoid,” Brammer said, describing living in New York during the pandemic. “I thought, well, I have all this time, and the world is going to be talking more about death so maybe I can contribute something that can help people process it.”
The conversation also focused on life, with Brammer sharing fun anecdotes including Clover being based on her “cheeky” and “adventurous” great aunt, how she recently began creating memorable audio recordings with her mom, and the real-life inspiration for various supporting characters in her novel.
Brammer also shared how actress and singer Jane Birkin gave her the advice to “be cautiously reckless,” a quote from the novel that resonated with many readers.
“I think as someone in their young twenties, to hear live cautiously or be cautiously reckless is a great piece of advice,” said Katie Rosol, who attended her first OBOV event with her friend Ellen O’Connell. “Your twenties are so...you really can go anywhere in life. When she was saying a mentor in her life told her to live cautiously reckless and she took that and said, ‘I’m going to make calculated risks,’ it felt like I was meant to hear it,” O’Connell added.
Brammer and James’s conversation was followed by an audience Q&A and a book signing.
The Collected Regrets of Clover was announced as the book for OBOV 2024 at the end of August and since then copies of the book circulated more than 1,600 times and participation in the library’s book discussions had more than doubled over previous years.
“I know there’s so many excellent books in the world and not enough time to read them,” Brammer said at the end of the evening. “The fact that you would spend time and energy reading mine is so meaningful and that you would come here to listen, I just truly appreciate it."
One Book, One Village 2024 continues through early November. A video recording of the entire interview and event is available for viewing on the library’s YouTube channel. Watch here.
An Evening with Mikki Brammer was supported, in part, by the Friends of the Library.