An introduction: I used to be black -- Iranians have no gaydar and other things I learned growing up in Palm Springs -- Hairy legs, short shorts, and the Mexification of Negin Farsad -- Negin and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day: aka high school -- When fig newtons are the last straw: on leaving Palm Springs -- A protester is born: Dave Matthews, pleated khakis, and the Reverend Al Sharpton -- My lady parts and my comedy parts -- Bootleg Islam -- Where my staplers at? -- My own people don't like me very much -- A taxonomy of haters -- White people love conferences -- My boyfriend is black and a mini-bout of racism -- Do immigrants spit out more patriotic babies?

"From the acclaimed writer, director, and star of the hit documentary The Muslims are Coming! comes a memoir in essays about growing up Iranian-American in a post-9/11 world and the power of comedy to combat racism" --