From adventure to captivity : why the quest for security saps erotic vitality -- More intimacy, less sex : love seeks closeness, but desire needs distance -- The pitfalls of modern intimacy : talk is not the only avenue to closeness -- Democracy versus hot sex : desire and egalitarianism don't play by the same rules -- Can do! : the Protestant work ethic takes on the degradation of desire -- Sex is dirty; save it for someone you love : when Puritanism and hedonism collide -- Erotic blueprints : tell me how you were loved, and I'll tell you how to make love -- Parenthood : when three threatens two -- Of flesh and fantasy : in the sanctuary of the erotic mind we find a direct route to pleasure -- The shadow of the third : rethinking fidelity -- Putting the x back in sex : bringing the erotic home

A guide for loving couples who are looking to renew sexual passion in their lives explains how societal taboos and ideals about domestic equality have compromised the healthy expression of eroticism in today's relationships