"Much of the introduction comes from Lisa Keefauver's 2023 TEDx Talk, 'Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make It Suck Less'"--Title page verso

"When social worker Lisa Keefauver became a widow in 2011, she was alarmed to discover that even though 100 percent of us experience loss, we're living in a grief illiterate world. In her work as a therapist, and in her search for help in the wake of her own loss, Keefauver began to see how the misguided stories we consume about grief lead to unnecessary suffering. Responding to the problematic narratives that grief is something to move on from after completing the five stages like some sort of to-do list, Keefauver became a grief activist. Through this book and her hit podcast of the same title, she creates a safe place to be inside the messiness of it all, to discover the full spectrum of grief, and to find the tools that help grievers move forward, not on. Grief is a Sneaky Bitch is a comprehensive guide -- both a manual full of insights and skills and, even more importantly, a thoughtful companion that helps readers feel seen and held. Keefauver shares her personal and professional wisdom alongside the lessons she's learned from clinicians, authors, poets, and friends. In place of rigid instructions and must-do checklists, Grief is a Sneaky Bitch invites reflection, encourages self-compassion, and explores the therapeutic power of humor with, yes, a bit of profanity." --

Inviting you to start here: Orienting you to the who, what, where, when, and why of grief -- Preface: life lessons learned at the bottom of the ocean -- Introduction: a guide to reading this book -- Time in grief: Discovering how and why time feels so different -- World's still spinning -- Start close in -- Messy middle -- Wait. Am I still grieving? -- What the hell is happening to me?: Helping you see the 360-degree impact of grief (no, it's not just all in your head) -- Everything sucks (and other negative thoughts) -- This is your brain on grief -- Your body knows -- Too much too soon -- Emotions and feelings and moods, oh my! -- Another full-time job -- Relating to yourself and others (or not): (re)discovering yourself and your relationship to others in grief -- Everyone is stylish in their own way -- Knowing and honoring your needs -- Oh, the places you go and the people you see (and why it's exhausting) -- People say stupid shit -- Who's got your back? -- Of course it's complicated -- Access denied -- Pitfalls and hazards: Identifying the grief thief and other speed bumps when navigating loss -- Watch out for the grief thief -- There is no grief GPS -- Ambiguity S-U-C-K-S -- Should is a dirty word (and not the swearing kind) -- Holidays, anniversaries, and other grief hazards -- Secondary losses: The sneakiest bitches of them all -- Skills and tools that help grief suck less: Discovering ways to soften the hard edges of grief -- Notice mindfully -- Improv skills help -- Your turn to buddy-breathe -- Seek a creative resource -- Make space -- Now what?: Bringing curiosity to the emerging story of your life -- Beautiful, messy, emerging you -- Memories for safekeeping -- Meaning-making (even though it didn't happen for a reason) -- When grief becomes part of the story - but not the whole story -- A little extra --

Afterword --

Appendix A : an alphabet of reminders for your grief journey -- Appendix B : a letter to the grief supporters