A note from the author -- My father, the savage -- Paging Dr. Stupid -- Bruce Bruce -- I had a dream -- Que Viva El Perư, Carajo! -- Chris Tucker -- Five star -- West -- Lost wallet -- Jill Scott -- A lot too much -- Concha mi madre -- America's Most Wanted -- Serena Williams -- Road dog -- Bank shot - No fat chicks -- Chris Noth -- What's the theme? -- Trickin' on the track -- Omarion -- Pick one -- What's wrong with me? -- Save the word -- Photo essay -- Mike Tyson -- Pulitzer Prize submission

Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice, but after a few busy years of work and parenting, he just wants to hide from everything. A collection of hilarious tales to make anyone want some peace and quiet