Valente, Lili. Bad Motherpuckers. #bk. 6

Read by Andi Arndt

Bree Marks is my best friend... My secret crush... And--wait for it--cursed with a deadly allergy to erecto-plasm. As in she'll seriously swell up and die if seminal fluid even touches her. Which means finding the perfect guy to punch her V card is literally a matter of life and death. She wants a no-strings summer fling, but she needs someone she can trust. A puck buddy who isn't going to get overly emotional. Someone who's as savvy in the sack as he is on the ice. That's where I come in. It's a simple request, really--and one I would be happy to honor. If it weren't for the whole life-and-death thing. If I hadn't just been traded to a team thousands of miles away from this girl who makes me think not all relationships are a losing game. If I wasn't already crazy in love with her. This arrangement is a disaster waiting to happen, but the heart wants what it wants, and mine wants Bree, danger and all

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