Being available -- The art of the long lunch : being available for our friends physically -- Step away from the cell phone : being available for our friends mentally -- Coffee and catharsis : being available for our friends emotionally -- Sharing our spark : being available for our friends spiritually -- Being authentic -- Making space for the real: accepting imperfection in ourselves and others -- When life is just not good : avoiding the pretending game -- Go ahead, air that laundry : making a commitment to truth telling -- The storytellers and space holders : trusting each other with our real stories -- Being affirming -- Bedroom dressers, bathroom mirrors, and car dashboards : the importance of self-affirmation -- Doctor cool boots : becoming fluent in affirmation -- Making space at the table: overcoming our instincts to compete -- Making those deposits : affirmation as friendship currency -- Me, too: affirmation as a pathway to collective empowerment -- Being assertive -- The bad rap : clarifying the difference between assertive and aggressive -- Passive no more : relinquishing our assertiveness avoidance -- How to make an assertive sandwich : the sandwich approach to healthy assertiveness -- Channeling our inner ninn y: helping others make their own commitment to assertiveness -- Being accepting -- Lemons and matching sweater vests : allowing our friends to chart their own courses -- Red light, green light : disagreeing without judgment -- Relationship lessons from an adolescent client : offering acceptance without agreement -- Permission granted: adhering to healthy boundaries -- Confessions of a bad friend : the importance of forgiveness in friendship -- Conclusion: saying goodbye to loneliness