Introduction -- The great misunderstanding -- Winning the argument, losing the heart -- Boundaries built with love -- What the gilmore girls, buddy the elf, general patton, and mr. strickland share in common -- The ugly stepsisters of parenting -- Parenting for the win -- Everything i know about influence i learned from my mother-in-law -- Key 1: blend love and discipline for influence -- Fourth place can win -- Key 2: understand and embrace the shift -- You need a bigger circle -- Key 3: amplify other voices of influence -- Time is not on your side -- Key 4: use your time wisely -- Be fully there -- Key 5: stay involved with your kids -- I'd rather be the tortoise -- Key 6: commit to consistency -- Hollywood lied! -- Key 7: love no matter what -- A parent's greatest enemy -- Key 8: listen to what's true about you -- Potato salad and headstones -- Key 9: leave a lasting legacy -- Moving forward -- The hats parents wear -- Defining a good parent -- Eyes on the prize -- Parenting is a long-term investment -- Direction determines destination -- Parenting with more than good intentions -- Worth the fight