"The widely beloved, uproarious, first essay collection and the basis for the upcoming FX Studios series from smart, edgy, hilarious, and unabashedly raunchy Samantha Irby. Samantha Irby exploded onto the printed page with this debut collection of essays about trying to laugh her way through failed relationships, taco feasts, bouts with Crohn's disease, and more. Every essay is crafted with the same scathing wit and poignant candor thousands of loyal readers have come to expect from visiting her notoriously hilarious blog, bitchesgottaeat.com"--

Part 1: Brunch: An Instagram Frittata. At Thirty -- Awkward First Date -- I Want to Write Your Mom's Match.com Profile -- My Mother, My Daughter -- Triplets -- This Is Why I'm Poor -- Skin Rashes and Arthritis -- Tapeworm Diet -- I Want to Put a Fat Bitch on Network Television -- Part 2: Good (Food) in Bed: Having Diarrhea All the Time Is the Worst. Milk and Oreos -- Black Beauty -- Many Varieties of Hospital Broth -- Terror of Love -- Sorry I Shit on Your Dick -- How to Get Your Disgusting Meat Carcass Ready for Some New, Hot Sex -- Massive Wet Asses -- Part 3: Dinner on the Couch. Forest Whitaker's Neck -- Bitches Are My Jam -- A Bearded Gentleman -- Would Dying Alone Really Be So Terrible? -- I Really Don't Eat This Much Salad! -- Thumbsucker -- I Should Have a Car with Power Windows by Now -- End: Ooh, Dessert. And Cocktails!