Introduction -- Bundle of joy my ass, more like bundle of hell -- I heart my little a-holes -- Don't read this section while you're eating chocolate -- Another holiday? Are you f'ing kidding me? -- The truth, the whole truth, and none of the bullshit you see on Pinterest -- A really short chapter about Girl Scout cookies because they are so f'ing awesome they deserve their own chapter -- Disney and Caillou and other annoying crap I want to crap on -- Annnnnd this is what my life has turned into. Awesome. -- Yo rug rats, you owe me $26,000 for plastic surgery -- I heart my little a-holes verrrrry serious book club questions

Karen Alpert, writer of the blog Baby Sideburns, shares funny stories and pictures from her experiences raising her young son and daughter

Alpert shares stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the pleasant and unpleasant surprises of raising children. Underneath her snarky (but hilariously true!) comments, it's obvious she loves her children-- when they're not being poopie trolls