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Spoiler alert The third movie in the reboot War For The Planet Of The Apes is a rehash of the story of Exodus. The apes have moved back into the woods, but are hunted by a renegade human militia. Apes defeat the humans and the humans counter attack. Colonel Red kills Blue Eyes, the first born of the ape’s leader, Caesar.

The Colonel is part Pharaoh and part Patton. Not General George Patton, but the actor Will Patton, who played a leader of another renegade militia in the 1997 movie The Postman. Caesar sends the apes to the Promised Land, but stays behind with three other simians to kill Colonel Red in revenge. Along the way, they find a mute blond girl, seen the movie poster peeking out behind Caesar on the horse. Caesar is captured, learning that the apes aren’t on the way to the Promised Land, but are enslaved by Red, and forced to build fortifications.

Red explains that the Simian Flu virus has mutated. Infected humans have become dumb, mute and dumber, lower intelligence. Red killed his own son, who had the illness. The fortifications are to defend against an attack by the regular army, which doesn’t like Red killing humans. Killing apes is OK. The apes find a way to free the slaves just as the army attacks. Apes flee. An avalanche kills the pursuing humans, the same way the Egyptians were killed by the closing of the Red Sea. Caesar leads his people to the Promised Land, but dies before entry, just like Moses.

Fear not, simian sympathizers. Caesar may be dead, but the foundations of another movie have already been laid. Caesar’s surviving son is named Cornelius. The mute girl takes a liking to an old Chevy nameplate and is named Nova. Both are characters in the original Planet of The Apes movie.

 
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6.012 Patron-Generated Content

04/27/2011
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