What wasn't said -- Family values -- Race versus class -- Optimism -- Within the walls -- From confusion to shock -- The GI Bill -- Racial categories -- White superiority -- The melting pot -- Headwinds and tailwinds -- Icebergs -- Invisibility -- Zap! -- The whole story -- Logos and stereotypes -- My good people -- Color-blind -- My good luck -- My Robin Hood syndrome -- Straddling two worlds -- Why do I always end up with white people? -- Diversity training -- Everyone is different; everyone belongs -- Belonging -- Surviving versus thriving -- Living into expectations -- I am the elephant -- Intent and impact -- Feelings and the culture of niceness -- Courageous conversations -- Getting over myself -- Perception and fear -- Becoming multicultural -- If only you'd be more like me -- The dominant white culture -- Boxes and ladders -- The rugged individual -- Equality starts with equity -- Bull in a China shop -- From bystander to ally -- Solidarity and accountability -- From tolerance to engagement -- Listening -- Normalizing race talk -- Whole again -- Tell me what to do!

For twenty-five years, Debby Irving sensed inexplicable racial tensions in her personal and professional relationships. As a colleague and neighbor, she worried about offending people she dearly wanted to befriend. As an arts administrator, she didn't understand why her diversity efforts lacked traction. As a teacher, she found her best efforts to reach out to students and families of color left her wondering what she was missing. Then, in 2009, one "aha!" moment launched an adventure of discovery and insight that drastically shifted her worldview and upended her life plan