How to toast a cheerio -- All of them had hair of gold -- A tale of two cities -- Not so terrific -- September -- Giving thanks, sort of -- The Saturday boy -- A major in creative writing with a minor in tortured self-reflection in one's journal -- The wrong, long path -- Parasites in my eyes -- The road to Vons is paved with pavement -- Starting from scratch -- Learning on the job -- Call me Ishmael Mealy -- The squeaky wheel gets the engagement ring? -- Food fight -- Food fight, part II -- The joy of cooking -- Great expectations, part II -- A feast of failure -- Arising out of necessity -- Reconsidering the oyster -- There's no cream in pasta carbonara -- Enjoying the process -- Crepes are pronounced krehps and if you make enough of them, you'll get a gateau -- Embrace yourself, avoid canola oil -- Neither magnificent nor abominable -- Bringing it all back home -- Our many lives -- Be careful when hammering your life into shape -- Figuring it out for yourself -- 2013 -- Epilogue