New York : Simon & Schuster, c2012
xx, 282 p. ; 25 cm ISBN/ISSN:
9781451608472 (hbk.), 1451608470 (hbk.), 9781451608489 (trade pbk.), 1451608489 (trade pbk.), 1451608470 :, Language:
"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today applies the insights of science toward understanding the real meaning of trust between a couple. He decodes the "why" behind betrayal and shows how partners can avoid or recover from unfaithfulness and maintain a loving relationship.Dr. John Gottman, the country's pre-eminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous major awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. A Love You Can Trust shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of--"sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. A Love You Can Trust guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a long-term, intimate, and romantic relationship"--
"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships"--
Assessing your trust metric -- The three boxes -- "I didn't mean for it to happen (why cheaters cheat) -- Men, porn, and sex drives -- Ten other ways to betray a lover -- Trust and the roots of attunement -- Attunement made easy : the art of intimate conversation -- Turning toward each other -- Working through your messes, big and small -- Recovering from infidelity -- Connecting through intimate sex -- How to know if it's time to go -- Learning to trust again : a life-saving skill -- What is true love? -- Appendix 1. Extra help with the four skills of intimate conversations -- Appendix 2. Suggestions for working through the Gottman's Aftermath Kit : healing previous injuries and hurt feelings -- Appendix 3. Why some couples stop having sex : a game theory analysis
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